21 ways to get him to notice you
by QUEEN EEVEE
Summary: Can 40yrs old advice help Kairi with her love life or will Namine and her end up killing Selphie for being annoying? The path to happiness is never easy.
1. 1 to 7

QE:I have writer's block. :(

Evestar:Damn.

E.S.P:Trying our hardest to get rid of it.

QE:The really sad thing is i wrote this because I found a 40 year old article on catching a guys attention and though it was funny.

Evestar:This is what you get when you go through your grandma's stuff.

QE: :) TO RIGHT!

Evestar:We own nothing not even the advice.

E.S.P:That's from the Jackie magazine.

* * *

"HEY KAIRI!" The short brown haired girl called running up to her best friend. Who was obviously looking at the hottest guy in school. Well he had been promoted there since Riku left for upper school that fall.

The red haired girl started flapping telling her to shut up. "Selphie." She whined.

"Who we looking at?" Asked the ninja blonde. No one ever knew how she just appeared but she did. Kairi had a feeling her cousin was a ninja but she said it was because she was quiet.

"Roxas's cousin again." Selphie tutted.

"Twin." Kairi corrected.

"But they don't look the same." She argued.

"Twins." Kairi and Namine said together.

"Fine." Selpie rolled her eyes. "So you asking him?"

"What if he doesn't like me?" Kairi hung her head it was hopeless.

"Who?" They all, except Namine, jumped when the blonde spoke. He rolled his eyes. "Are we?" He asked Namine.

"I'm quite capable." She whispered.

"Yeah well you're mum's paying me." He sighed grabbing her arm and dragging her off.

Selphie mouthed "Tell us everything later."

Kairi felt sorry for her. She had to face the full wrath of Selphe later.

"Why is Roxas walking with Namine?" Selphie went into full bloom. Not once shutting up. Rambling something about prostitution and getting the police.

"Bye Selphie." Kairi grinned before vanishing into her house. No one would be in until late so she pretty much owed the place until then. The silence. Where she could focus on her problem uninterrupted. Until she remembered she was the one holding the sleep over later. "Damn it."

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

Namine sunk into the back of her chair. Selp was more demanding then she could ever know.

"Let the poor girl speak." Kairi announced walking into the room where they had set up for the party.

Namine smiled at her. "I was walking Zack when he got out of hand when he saw Roxas' brother Cloud. You know how he gets when he likes people well I had no control and got dragged." Kairi was amazed this was the most she ever said in one go. "Roxas helped me bring him back and my mum offered him a job to walk him with me. Cloud also likes me and has offered to enlist his brother for any odd jobs my mother needs."

"So no romance?" Selphie asked.

Namine shook her head.

"So, on the subject of romance." Kairi started to wonder why she put up with Selphie. "I was reading my grandma's old magazines and I found 21 ways to make him notice you."

"What so you can try it on Tidus?" Kairi scoffed sitting next to Namine.

"No he likes someone called Rikku, who I mistook for Riku." She looked sad. The sudden mood swing gave both of them whiplash. "Anyway. We could use them to get Sora to notice Kairi."

"I dunno." Kairi said looking at Namine for support.

"Way one." She exclaimed pulling the magazine out of nowhere. "Get wise to his favorite haunts and just be there, ever so causally."

"But I'm at his favorite spots anyway." Kairi stated.

"Ok. Way two. At the Club don't strive to win games or push yourself forward if its not your routine, but lose with a good humored laugh, stick around and help clear up the debris afterwards he'll cotton on."

"Riku's leaving party." Namine said.

Kairi shuddered. Yeah she lost all the games and was the one left to deal and hide the alcohol because she was the mayor's daughter.

That was fun." Selphie smiled. "shame you didn't go."

"I did." Namine said brushing her hair.

"Right. Number three. A nice sincere smile and a friendly hello without obviously angling for more talk will relax him, make him think he must know you."

"I said Hi ever morning." Kairi said exasperated.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

"This one."

"Remind me why we are at the mall?" Kairi asked with a Namine clinging to her for her dear life. This place freaked her out.

"So big." Namine whimpered. Bad childhood memories clung to her like spiderwebs.

"Ok. Numeral four. Don't cling to a girlfriend for courage it'll put him off. Being on your own, with a slightly lost look encourages him to get things started." Selphie read. "That and Sora, Roxas, Cloud and Riku come here ever Saturday to go to the library where Leon works."

"Oh." Was all Kairi had to say.

She loosened Namine and made her cling to Selphie. "Hey."

"See you later." Kairi called running into the crowd.

"Hey." Selphie turned to see Riku and A smallish black haired girl. "How did you get Namine in here?" Worry was thick in his voice.

"Come on Nam's" The Black haired girl dragged the wreck towards the emptiest café.

"Why you here?" Selphie asked.

"Leon's sick and The Twins have been roped into help Cloud with his deliveries, so me and Xion are going to the Cinema." The stated before walking off to help Xion calm down the wreck.

"Oh crud."

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

"Happy Sunday." Selphie exclaimed when both Kairi and Namine arrived at the park. The sun shine promised a new better day but Kairi was still annoyed at Selphie for the day before.

"Hi." They mumbled.

"Sora's over there." Selphie pointed. Sure enough the brunette was sitting on the park bench in a football kit and a yellow apron on. Roxas sat next to him wearing similar but darker clothes. Riku was crashed out on the ground.

"Oh yeah. They have football today." Kairi smiled.

"Number five." They groaned. "Find a nice, unmanageable, preferable large, dog and take it for a walk where you'll meet your other friend and leave the rest to nature." Selphie giggled. "This calls for Zack."

"Why Zack?" Namine asked. "Why not Angeal? Angeal is easy to control and nice."

"Because it calls for a **nice but unmanageable dog** which Zack is." She smiled.

"Ok." Namine said defeated and went to get the puppy.

Selphie and Kiri watched the game when Namine returned with two dogs. One a black German shepherd which stood proud and tall and the second was a chocolate lab puppy, whose tail never once stood still.

Namine looked exhausted. "Here." She past the Labrador lead to Kairi.

Kairi looked at the puppy and the puppy looked at Kairi. "How do you get it to go?" She asked as the dog rolled over for a belly rub.

"Zack look Leon." Namine said pointing to Sora.

The puppy, Zack, ears went up and he ran full pelt dragging Kairi behind him.

Namine sighed as the puppy had seen Cloud. The got off his lead and proceeded to hump Cloud's leg. "I got him going right."

Selphie facepalmed.

Kairi looked horrified.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

Kairi hated Monday mornings. Selphie demanded they were up bright and early so they could organize the week ahead.

"Six. At a crowded social do, wear something that makes you stand out.A plain clear colour is often better from the eye catching point of view tan patterns. Or an all-white trouser suit. Or a mini when the rest have gone for maxi." Selphie said holding a bag out in front of Kairi.

She took one look at the outfit. "I'm not wearing that." She pulled out a bright pink, ruffled sleeved, pink ballgrown.

"But Aurora assured me it would catch his attention." Selphie whined.

"It's against school code." Namine stated getting changed it to a white top and black trousers.

"Fine. Seven. Perfume. Lots of girls don't bother. Make sure yours always the same, and he recognize you before he sees you. But make it subtle one, nothing overpowering."

"But I always wear this." She pointed to her deodorant. "And he doesn't recognize it."

"Ok time to go for the direct invitational but nicely approaches now." Selphie grinned making both girls worry.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 (Bonus bit)

Roxas failed. Much to his brother's boyfriends delight.

All he had to do was get Sora up.

Now he was stuck with Sora's arm around his neck and leg around his waist holding him in place. And Stupid Sora was nuzzling his head.

"Cleon help. Cleon." Roxas shouted.

Leon rolled his eyes. He really hated that stupid name The Twins came up for their relationship. "What?" He growled.

"Sora's dreaming about a girl again and it's really uncomfortable and embarrassing." Roxas whined.

Leon sighed running his hand through his brown hair. Why had he agreed to look after them again? Oh yeah Cloud promised a night in together. Alone.

"Sora." There was a mummer. "Cloud's making Pancakes downstairs."

Roxas faceplanted the floor as Sora ran straight down the stairs.

"SORA PUT CLOTHES ON!" They both flinched at the sound of a frying pan hitting something.

"Let's get out." Leon said.

"Yeah."

They moved out of the way of a very red brunette.

There was a very annoyed Cloud who looked remarkable like Roxas standing in the kitchen looking as if he was about to kill something nearby.

"In our defense we didn't know he was in the noody." Roxas stated. "Does Mrs. Gainsborough need anything?"

Roxas legged it just as Cloud lobbed the frying pan. "Just friggin ask her."

Leon decided to quickly defuse the situation hugged Cloud from behind because he was less likely to get hurt from there. "You do know you look sexy when you are mad."

"Why are you still here?" Cloud gumbled.

"So I don't have to attend a court hearing and explain that you are normally a calm quiet person but your brothers bring out the worse in you." He smiled in the back of Cloud's head. "They not like you. They won't go and say something to ease the pain."

Cloud growled. "Bite me."

"I would but you being Emo you'd probably like that."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Breakfast."

* * *

QE:I always imagined Zack to behave like Marley but just black because he has black hair.

Evestar:Cleon?

QE:Please review.

E.S.P:We are working on the rest of the 21 ways with SootyPhoenix.

QE:In return for help with her 50 ways to annoy series.

Cyndaquil:Hope you enjoyed.


	2. 8 to 14

QE:I've finally found the piece of paper with everything on. *Does a happy dance.*

E.S.P:Installment two.

Evestar:QE has never tried any of these so has no idea if they work. If they don't its not her fault.

QE:Plus I don't own anything.

E.S.P:Yeah. Anyway Number 8-14

* * *

The grin the brunette was giving the red head was creepy to say the least. "Ok are you ready?" She asked closing her locker.

"No." Kairi sighed. "But go ahead." She wished she was with Namine who had vanished to sign up for afterschool art class.

"Number 8. Go and ask him the time." Selphie smiled.

"You're kidding me." Kairi stated annoyed. "That's it."

Selphie looked slightly hurt. "Why didn't you think of it then?"

The red head sighed and looked around for Sora. He was nowhere in sight.

So began Sora hunting for the most of break until she saw the brunette and her heart fluttered a bit.

Nervously she took walked towards him. "Hey Sora do you know what..." The school buzzer went off to indicate that it was next lesson.

Sora blinked at her. "Sorry if it's important I've gotta go." He half ran off after his twin.

She looked back at Selphie who gave her the 'you go girl' look. She really wanted to hit her friend right now.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

Thank god for half days at school. Some moronic blonde chemistry teacher set fire to the science block again so everyone got the rest of the day off in case they were exposed to dangerous chemicals.

"Right girls. There's Sora." She pointed to the brunette sitting outside a shop while eating an ice cream. "Number 10." Selphie smiled at her two friends standing outside the only high end clothes shop.

"What happened to nine?"Kairi asked.

"Oh. Ask him for change but Sora never has munny on him." Selphie smiled.

Namine nodded and tried to hide from the shop.

"Ask him the way to somewhere, if you are suitably dense he may take you there himself." Selphie looked at both of them. "What's the most obscure place we can think of?"

"The garage." Kairi jumped off the brick wall they had sat on and walked towards Sora. Namine had tried to tell her something but she ignored her and stopped in front of Sora.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hi. This is going to sound stupid but do you know where the garage is?" She asked in what she hoped was her best lost impression.

He looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "CLOUD YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER!"

She looked up and groaned. How was she getting out of this one?

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

Sitting on the park bench Kairi half decided whether to help Namine to walk Zack or laugh. She was being determined to prove that she didn't need help walking the dogs that Kairi really couldn't go and help her now. Roxas watched her half exasperated while Angeal trailed behind him like the good dog he was. They were all the way on the other side of the park and she was just as useless at controlling Zack as Namine was. She felt for her friend as the dog dragged her about. Then again the only reason she was here was because Selphie texted her to meet up here. She supposed she should talk to her friend again after a week of blanking her.

Selphie dropped down in the seat next to her with a huge box that happened to have her address on it. "Number 11 and 12." Selphie stated out of breath. "Carry a large parcel everywhere. Ask him to hold it while you get your purse out of your bag, and if necessary leave the parcel behind. Have your address on it." She smiled.

"Ok." Kairi sighed taking the heavy parcel out of Selphie's hands and trudging her way towards the brunette teaching football with the silverette to Xion. "Hey Sora can you hold this for a second?" She asked shoving it in his hands. She noted Riku used this time to kiss his girlfriend.

She fumbled around in her bag when her phone went off. The caller id said Selphie. "Hello?"

"Turn around walk away and sound interested." Selphie giggled while walking towards Roxas and Namine.

She nodded and talked aimlessly while walking away fighting the urge to turn around and look at Sora to see if it was working.

Two days later Namine turned up on her door step with the parcel. "What do you have in it?" She asked while Angeal sitting calmly next to her.

"No idea asked Selphie." She sighed. "Sora was supposed to turn up."

"Oh sorry but he could read the hand writing."

She nodded. Stupid Selphie.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

Selphie made them sit next to Sora and his group at lunch. Namine wasn't impressed because Roxas was sitting with them and not his friends.

Number 13 she had told them. In a coffee bar ask him to pass you the suagr, the salt, the tomato sauce, the mustard, more sugar and the menu. As you are only ordering orangeade it should pipe his interest. The only down side was Sora never went to a coffee bar and the closest they could get to was the school cafe.

"Bye girls." Wakka winked before they all got up and went.

Namine and Kairi just sat there for the rest of lunch glaring at Selphie.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

"Number 14." Selphie smiled at the bus stop. On a bus or train ask him the best stop to get off at for the swimming baths or whatever."

"Since when does Destiny islands have a swimming pool?" Kairi asked.

"Leisure centre." Namine smiled. She pointed to the bus stop they needed to hang around.

"You personal stalker found out they go there every Friday after school." Selphie grinned. There was no way this was going wrong.

Well until they saw the boys pass in a retro old car being driven by a fit brunette that so wasn't Sora.

"Oh come on." Selphie sighed annoyed. "Today they had to get a lift."

1-2-3-4-5(bonus)-6-7-8-9

Cloud knew there was something wrong with his younger brother. He was just sitting at the kitchen table staring at the clock.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked sitting down opposite. He had to tread carefully as Roxas was a bit volatile. Roxas looked at him with those hurt blue eyes. "How long have you lot fallen out for?"

"Two weeks. I don't know why they have taken to hating me?" Roxas said looking away again. He didn't flinch as Cloud moved around the table to hug him. "Hanging around with Sora's friends doesn't help."

"What about Namine and co?"

Roxas didn't explode like he had expected him to.

He sighed and pulled out his phone. "Hey Aerith. You got any jobs Roxas can do so he stops sulking." His brother gave him a flat out glare. "Sure. I'll send him around." He childishly stuck his tongue out. The mini blond was allowed to go emo as long as he did something contructutive.


	3. 15 to 21

QE:Seriously I went up to a guy yesterday and say 'there twenty other ways I can get your attention but some of them are really weird and involve packages but I just wanted to sya Hi and your cute.' and he looked at me gone out.

E.S.P:Your still ranting about that.

QE:Yeah.

Evestar:By the way this is the end. The final chapter.

E.S.P:See stuff gets don't when someone can't get internet for four days straight.

QE:Yep.

Evestar:She owns nothing.

* * *

"If all else fails." Selphie exclaimed happily. She held up a piece of paper with scribbles on it that were barely readable.

Kairi and Namine looked at her with unreadable expressions as they swung back on forth on the swings.

"Way fifteen. Look the other way and walk into him." She grinned.

"Yeah, because Zack trying to hump his leg so didn't get his attention." Kairi replied sarcastically.

"I'm trying to help." Selphie whined. "Fine. Way sixteen, Drip the cornet you are licking over his sleeve...you have to clean it up don't you."

"Does it really say that?" Namine asked slightly shocked. She blinked when she read the piece of paper. "Ok."

"I just have enough munny for one ice cream cone." Selphie whined.

"I can buy them." Namine whispered.

"Since when do you have munny?" Selphie interrogated. "Why have you been holding out on us? Why?"

`"I haven't." Namine whimpered.

"It only requires me to have one." Kairi pointed out while forcefully dragging Selphie away from her new best friend in the whole wide world.

"But I want one." Selphie whined.

Kairi rolled her eyes and went to pay for the ice creams. Hell even if this went wrong she got ice cream.

When she got back Namine had vanished with her ice cream mumbling about a text so she had to drag Selphie to where they had spotted brown hair earlier.

She had no idea what they were talking about but they kept the conversation up between them and she felt the ice cream slip out of her hand into what she hoped was his sleeve.

Just before she turned around to apologise a voice piped up. "Hey Leon you have ice cream in your lap." That voice distinctly sounded like Sora. "Wouldn't Cloud be happy to see that?"

"Shut up Sora." That voice was deeper and right next to her. She turned to see a pair of deep blue eyes look at her funny and the scar running across his face creep her out.

She mumbled sorry before legging it as fast as she could.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

"Way seventeen offer him a sweet or chip." Selphie smiled as she tried not to over buy sweets which she was failing at.

Namine kept giving Kairi a smug look. Somehow she had found out about the event in the park and was being happy about its failure.

"Why are you buying the shop out?" Kairi asked Selphie slightly worried about the sugar rush she was going to get at lunch.

"I don't know what he likes or doesn't like."

"Sora can't eat any form of sugar as he has a severe adverse reaction." Namine stated as they left the shop.

"How do you know that?" Selphie asked.

"Roxas eats my house out of sugar as it's the only time he can have it."

"What else can I offer him?"

They all gave up and went to school.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

They should have known by now to run when Selphie comes bouncing into the room.

"How would you two like to join me on a sponsored fun run?" Selphie asked.

"Why?" Kairi glared. She really didn't like how badly it could go wrong.

"Way eighteen ask him if he will sponsor you for a charity walk, and make sure you get his address to collect what he owes later." Selphie smiled.

"What's the fun run?" Namine asked.

"A run around the island. Easy right?" Selphie grinned.

"No." They both stated together.

"But why?"

Kairi sighed. "Remember when you tried to get us to jog every Saturday and the idea was to get around the island." She said as nicely as possible.

"Oh yeah."

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

"No way that's your mum." Selphie whispered to Namine while looking around the door to Namine's front room. In the kitchen stood a really beautiful brown haired young woman with bright green eyes. Annoyingly Roxas was also in the kitchen helping her with the cupboard.

"Didn't you know she was adopted?" Kairi asked. She glanced at Namine worriedly. She was unusually quiet even for her.

Selphie shook her head violently.

"Ok. Way nineteen is so not worth it as it involves thinking he is a friend of someone else you know and chat to him like he's that person."

Kairi nodded. She didn't like that plan.

"Way twenty is really easy. Faint in front of him." Selphie smirked because she knew Kairi could faint on demand to get out of PE.

"And he's grabbing Roxas in ten minutes. Perfect." Kairi grinned. She liked this plan. "But can we go to the park with them it will be more dramatic?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"I'm getting a drink." Namine stated getting up. She looked even paler than normal.

Roxas walked in at that moment. "What neat Vodka or straight Whiskey?"

Namine opened her mouth to say something and fainted right then and there.

"Hey you weren't supposed to do that." Selphie stated before realising she hadn't meant to do that on purposed.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9

Kairi watched enviously as Roxas cuddled Namine on the couch. Selphie grinned from behind her hand at Kairi. Her plan had worked all be it for someone else but it worked. She hopefully neither of them would kill her for it.

Ms Gainsborough walked in with a tray of cookies and milk. "Cloud says you can stay over because if you catch it he doesn't want it." She smiled.

"That doesn't surprise me." Roxas growled. He gently pulled the blanket over Namine.

Namine in a fever state of mind nuzzled his chest.

That irked Kairi, all this effort to get her a boyfriend and Namine ended up with one.

"So why are you trying to freak Sora out?" Roxas asked sounding like himself and not using the soft voice he kept using for Namine.

"I'm trying to get him to ask me out." Kairi answered back bitterly. He annoyed her at the best of times.

` "Why don't you just say so instead of making yourself look like a fool?"

"That's Way 21." Selphie answered holding up the piece of paper.

"Sora, Kairi likes you."

Kairi glared at him.

"That's nice." She bolted to look at the door where Sora was leaning against it smiling. "Nice if she could say it." He winked at her.

"You're both annoying."

Before she could do or say anything Sora had her pinned down and was kissing her.

Somewhere in the haze of flufflyness in her mind she heard Selphie yell "Don't stop I need my camera."

* * *

QE:Other news there's a cute guy offering me alcohol and is generally nice.

E.S.P:Was it sealed.

QE:Yup.

E.S.P:Good.

Evestar:*shakes head* Thanks for reading.


End file.
